S1 E14: How do we prepare our hearts for the Advent season? Listen as Coley & Rachel chat with Bryce Langley about entering this season with hearts aligned to the hope that Christ’s birth brings.
If you’re looking for more ways to further help prepare your heart for the season, below are some suggested resources that were recommended by Bryce Langley:
- https://vancity.church/series/the-long-winter-breaks-2021/ – a sermon series from Josh Porter of Van City Church that greatly influenced Bryce’s sermon writing this year.
- https://time.com/5754054/first-christmas-politics/ – an article from NT Wright about the history of Christmas
- https://hbcharlesjr.com/resource-library/articles/dont-forget-who-the-party-is-for/ – a great Advent devotion from HB Charles
- The Dawning of Indestructible Joy – (John Piper) an awesome devotional; this link contains a free downloadable version!
- Watch for the Light: Readings For Advent & Christmas – various authors & theologians (another awesome devotional)
Transcript
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00:00:07
Welcome back everybody to the life in the city podcast from Antioch Community Church.
00:00:12
Today Rachel and I and our kids get to sit down with Bryce Lane, our pastoral resident, and we are talking about AD.
00:00:20
And we’re talking about the meaning behind the season of Advent.
00:00:24
We’re talking about surviving the holidays with family and kids, and all the expectations that come with it.
00:00:30
And I think you’re going to really enjoy this conversation.
00:00:33
Bryce is preaching all through the Advent season, and so this was a conversation that he wanted to have.
00:00:40
To kind of.
00:00:41
Give us some things to think about in the greater context of this season of Christmas that you know just aren’t aren’t conversations we normally would get to have during.
00:00:52
So I hope you enjoy this conversation and I hope you’re blessed by by it and able to think about these these next four weeks leading up to Christmas.
00:01:02
And it may be a renewed way if maybe this season gets tiring for you.
00:01:07
I hope that this is a chance to be reminded of what it’s all about.
00:01:11
I do want to make another plug if you are a parent.
00:01:16
I want to hear from you guys, especially from your kids.
00:01:22
How they would tell?
00:01:23
The Christmas story.
00:01:25
Now, if you have older kids, I would love to get a recording.
00:01:28
Of them from you.
00:01:30
Telling the Christmas story in their own words or.
00:01:34
Maybe just telling.
00:01:35
A piece of the story or describing.
00:01:39
People in the story, maybe it’s just who do you see in the Nativity?
00:01:43
Or what does the sheep say?
00:01:46
Or something like.
00:01:47
That, or what?
00:01:47
Did the angels sing that kind of thing?
00:01:50
And what I want to do with all of those recordings is make a supercut of kids retelling the Christmas story.
00:01:58
If you have older kids, they could even read Luke Chapter 2 or you could read something from the Jesus Storybook Bible.
00:02:06
But but I just anything.
00:02:07
It doesn’t even have to be all that accurate.
00:02:10
I’m I’m more looking for just the childhood wonder that comes with this season and how kids understand the story.
00:02:18
And their early years.
00:02:20
So if you can do that, you could either do it through a video recording and I’ll pull the audio, or you could just stealthily pull out your voice memos if you have a smart phone, you probably have a voice memo app.
00:02:31
Just search for it.
00:02:33
It’s probably built in.
00:02:34
I think that would just be really awesome and we will share that here.
00:02:36
On the podcast.
00:02:38
Presuming you get enough enough little storytellers.
00:02:41
You can send that.
00:02:42
To me, via e-mail kolyat, Antioch, community.org.
00:02:45
Or if you have my number you can text.
00:02:47
Me, that’s all I’ll say about that for now.
00:02:50
If you have questions, reach out and I hope you enjoyed this conversation with Bryce about.
00:02:54
The season event.
00:03:06
So we’re back to talking about Advent today with Bryce.
00:03:10
And you are actually preaching all of the advent.
00:03:14
Sermons right yeah, you’re stuck with me.
00:03:16
All month of December, that’s great.
00:03:18
Yep, so.
00:03:19
I’ll take it I’ll.
00:03:19
Take it what made you say yes to doing the advent?
00:03:24
Part of it was.
00:03:25
Is it just an opportunity?
00:03:27
I guess did you say yes or were you volentold?
00:03:28
Yes, I was.
00:03:30
I volentold, you know I.
00:03:33
To wanted a chance to.
00:03:38
Instead of just kind of dipping my toes into the water to really figure out what it means to, you know, get tossed into the deep end and swim, because there’s obviously a lot more to planning the series itself.
00:03:48
There’s all of the things that are, you know.
00:03:51
Kind of surrounding it between the extra curricular materials like this, and I think it’s.
00:03:58
You know, just really good, uh?
00:04:03
I don’t know practice, I guess is the way that I would describe it, and it’s also kind of my swan song as a resident.
00:04:09
So your swan song not like you’re going anywhere in January.
00:04:13
No, not like I’m going anywhere in January.
00:04:14
But as a resident it, it’ll be my my last hurrah.
00:04:20
That’s awesome, yeah.
00:04:22
So what?
00:04:23
Let’s just start with some terms like we call this the Advent season.
00:04:27
But what is AD?
00:04:29
Yeah, Advent is a I’m.
00:04:33
I’m I’m trying to think of the Latin like prefixes and everything but, but I’m pretty sure it’s to.
00:04:42
To wait before ad free, that kind of thing, but it’s essentially a time within the Christian calendar within the Christian calendar where we anticipate the birth of Christ.
00:04:55
So it’s a specific time.
00:04:57
It’s kind of like lence like leading up to Easter.
00:05:02
Where were.
00:05:04
Actively, you know, waiting on, meditating on and you know engaging within certain practices that allow our hearts to be receptive to the memorial.
00:05:16
That is the incarnation where God came to Earth in human form that would literally change the course of cosmic history.
00:05:25
Yeah so.
00:05:25
I I love that idea of that anticipation or as one.
00:05:31
As one author put it, the deep breath before the plunge.
00:05:36
It’s a Lord of the Rings reference, yeah, but I also it also kind of reminds me of and this is part of the Christmas story and I don’t but I don’t know if it’s technically, you know, the word advent, but like there were 400 years of silence before Jesus comes between the last Prophet and Christ.
00:05:36
Get Gandalf the white.
00:05:55
And everyone is just the the Jews were dying from a word from God.
00:06:01
Uhm and yeah and then lo and behold, here comes here comes the Lord himself in the form of a baby which is not at all what they expected.
00:06:12
I know I think that’s pretty.
00:06:13
It’s it’s kind of a cool way to spend the month like waiting for Christmas Day.
00:06:19
Wear it to kind of memorialize the way that the Jewish people were waiting for 400 years.
00:06:24
Even, and that’s a little antithetical to our culture, right?
00:06:27
We don’t know how to wait for things these days.
00:06:29
We don’t know what it means to like.
00:06:31
Look forward to something really, uhm.
00:06:34
We are still used to instant gratification and things and so they concept or idea of waiting with anticipation and hope, not knowing fully yet what.
00:06:45
Even that hope would bring, I think for for people, and we still anticipate and look forward to some hopes that and some joys that we don’t yet fully know how we’ll come to fruition with Christ.
00:06:58
OK.
00:06:59
It’s not something we’re used to by any means.
00:07:01
We’re used to filling our time, filling our head, filling our our space or mental energy for sure.
00:07:06
And in a lot of ways, it feels like the Christmas season is even like it UPS the ante.
00:07:11
In that frenzy, yeah, you know.
00:07:12
Like it’s, it’s not.
00:07:14
Culturally, it’s not like.
00:07:16
A time of calm.
00:07:18
It’s like, oh man, the holidays are here, Yep.
00:07:21
You know this many days till Christmas I you know you see that starting in July is sometimes on like social media and it’s like OK whoa hold on pump the brakes here.
00:07:30
Well, I mean.
00:07:30
And then there’s the Hallmark Channel doing Christmas in July for a week, just to remind us that, Oh yeah, it’s just around the corner, man.
00:07:34
Yes, that’s right.
00:07:37
They only have so much product they can.
00:07:39
Yeah, that is very true.
00:07:41
Very limited supply but very high demand.
00:07:44
Yeah, exactly.
00:07:45
I mean my husband was at the elder retreat this past weekend and I may or may not have watched the Hallmark Christmas movie while he.
00:07:51
Was gone and we always played the game of like you can.
00:07:53
No shame.
00:07:54
Kind of like.
00:07:55
Guess the plot and who’s going to get together and what’s going to happen and what’s going to be magical before you even watch it, but it’s still, it’s fun sometimes.
00:08:01
Emily’s grandmother is like.
00:08:04
The aficionado on Hallmark movies.
00:08:06
She has the entire schema down to like the most minute thing she’s like now at about the 15 minute mark.
00:08:14
Towards the end, there’s a break up for maybe about a.
00:08:17
Minute and 1/2.
00:08:18
Urban anaphe
00:08:18
And and it’s just like man, Joyce, you have seen every single one of them.
00:08:22
She could probably direct them.
00:08:22
The wise old man from the small town is going to come talk to somebody about like why they should get back together and yeah.
00:08:28
You know, in a hardware store or in like some sort of like really clean restaurant, that definitely looks way too artificial.
00:08:37
Bless you, dax.
00:08:39
Once again we have company during our recording that.
00:08:41
Was the cutest toddler sneeze ever.
00:08:43
Especially ’cause they like kind of roll back.
00:08:45
Knocked him over so.
00:08:45
It propelled his whole body.
00:08:48
That’s awesome.
00:08:49
Well, so how?
00:08:50
How do we as Christians then like?
00:08:53
Manage that we have two different.
00:08:55
We have two different cultures, two different worlds that we’re living in, one being the culture of.
00:09:00
Minnesota for our context, UM.
00:09:05
And then one being what we know, Christmas is actually about the biblical perspective so.
00:09:12
Yeah, how do you?
00:09:13
How do you think about those two things and wrestle with that?
00:09:17
Yeah, it seems to me there’s kind of like the two poles almost is that there is at least within, uh, in American Christianity.
00:09:25
I think there’s the tendency that go to one side, which is the sort of.
00:09:29
You know, conveniently, religious at you know.
00:09:33
Easter Sunday and then Christmas Eve, and it doesn’t really get, you know, much thought in the active lifestyle choices and discipleship to Jesus because it’s just kind of relegated to tradition.
00:09:47
This is kind of what we do and that’s part of I think, menace.
00:09:49
So, to, especially because there’s a lot of history of Protestantism in the Scandinavian and you know traditions and stuff like that.
00:09:56
And that’s something that was certainly a.
00:09:57
Part of my growing up, but I think the other one that swings on you know a pendulum to the farther side is to say that you know being wholly and truly meditating on Advent.
00:10:09
The right way.
00:10:11
Is to reject every bit of Americana that you have to, you know, do away with every single like get rid of Christmas trees.
00:10:20
Don’t do presents, it has to be almost like a hyper pious sort of sort of environment in your home.
00:10:29
Almost we see the Pharisees thing with, like legalism, right?
00:10:31
Yeah, exactly.
00:10:31
Taking it so far to the extreme, that nobody could ever say that you have a, uh, even like a tainted little view of of Americana in your Christmas tradition, yeah?
00:10:41
It kind of.
00:10:42
Reminds me of when the the.
00:10:44
So the Pharisee goes down to the corner in Luke 11 and he says, I thank you, God, that I’m not like other men and I feel like that could almost get substituted with.
00:10:54
I thank you, God, that I’m not like, you know the hedonists, that I’m not the materialists, that I’m not the consumers, that I’m not any of those things.
00:11:03
Then I create my own little.
00:11:04
Enclave and all in the same.
00:11:07
I think this is part of what we’re talking about.
00:11:08
Is that yes, reject materialism and the consumerism of Christmas.
00:11:12
It definitely defies the physics of the Christmas story.
00:11:15
At the same time, though, I think if we are meant to be and called to be very joyful people and practice the fruit of this.
00:11:22
Period, part of that is practicing generosity and hospitality in the culture that you are a part of.
00:11:29
And there’s a tasteful way to do it, which I think is actually the most compelling vision.
00:11:32
Like a third way as Kohli, I think you had mentioned.
00:11:34
Like before.
00:11:35
We were recording.
00:11:36
Yeah, that it seems like sometimes there’s these polar opposites fighting but but in the end Jesus.
00:11:42
Is this all the time, right like?
00:11:46
The Pharisees are going to argue one way the woman caught in adultery is on another end, and Jesus is like, how about this way?
00:11:53
And it’s not the happy medium.
00:11:54
It’s not like between the two.
00:11:55
Yeah, it’s just a completely different, better way.
00:12:00
So, So what does that look like?
00:12:02
For you, I mean, how do you think about navigating that?
00:12:05
Yeah, I think for me in in anticipating, you know, sort of pun intended.
00:12:12
I guess if a anticip.
00:12:14
Meeting of Christmas and knowing that as a church we all have, you know, families there’s travel plans.
00:12:22
There’s thinking about, you know, budgeting.
00:12:23
There’s all that stuff that.
00:12:26
You know I I want to be able to help speak to and to disciple and to see where the word of God actually speaks to some of those dynamics.
00:12:34
In principle, there’s a few things that I think on a practical level are really good to navigate.
00:12:41
You know the holiday season with and I think one of the first things that I can think of.
00:12:45
I’d love to hear your.
00:12:46
Both of your opinions on this, especially because you have small kids.
00:12:50
A man is setting good boundaries with tough family members ahead of time.
00:12:53
Instead of letting it all happen in the moment, that’s one of the first ones that I can think of.
00:12:59
Yeah, and I mean I’ll go first ’cause I actually I’m.
00:13:02
I’m really spoiled and I’m not just saying this ’cause it’s recording.
00:13:05
But like I wouldn’t say we have a tough family member.
00:13:08
Yeah, we just have a lot of family and so so like it’s not so much like oh gosh, how are we gonna deal with, you know?
00:13:10
Yeah huh?
00:13:17
Uncle Bruce or something.
00:13:18
We don’t have it.
00:13:19
On the 1st.
00:13:19
So that’s what I get called sometimes because yeah.
00:13:22
Really, oh I should, I suppose brace.
00:13:24
Yeah, I’ve been called it all my life so.
00:13:26
Funny, that’s funny.
00:13:29
But but we we just kind of have to.
00:13:32
And we’ve learned this in last three years.
00:13:34
Now, with Dax of like knowing our.
00:13:35
Limits you know, before we had Dax.
00:13:38
I mean, I could be with family for 14 hours, and sure, you’re exhausted, but like it’s worth it, it’s Christmas, you know.
00:13:44
But now it’s like.
00:13:45
Well, no, it’s not just my family.
00:13:47
It’s actually my family and my extended family and my own, like in home, family and John family.
00:13:54
Yeah, and so we have to.
00:13:56
And then Gavin has his family too and you know so.
00:14:00
We have to really protect and but not like in a.
00:14:05
Not a over protective way.
00:14:07
I don’t need to put boundaries on my boundaries, but just to simply recognize like OK, how many times can we push decks to the limit in one week before he’s just going to get sick?
00:14:17
Much less become a nightmare.
00:14:20
And and sometimes that just means, yeah, we we have to leave at 7.
00:14:25
PM You know and and that’s just where it’s going.
00:14:28
To have to be.
00:14:28
Or we can only push it so far or that kind of things.
00:14:31
Uhm, we haven’t had to deal with like.
00:14:35
How to talk about gift giving.
00:14:38
You know, like again, our family is pretty responsive to kind of whatever we want, and even for people whose love language is gift giving, it’s not like.
00:14:47
We suddenly get just a room full of plastic junk.
00:14:51
You know?
00:14:52
Like so we’re pretty.
00:14:54
We’re pretty spoiled in that way, but I think it’s more setting but for me it’s setting boundaries within myself of not just because I’m the extrovert.
00:15:00
I’m like let’s do all the things with all.
00:15:02
The people at all.
00:15:03
The times.
00:15:04
Yeah, but recognizing that’s actually not even what’s best for me, and it’s certainly not what’s best for my family.
00:15:10
And so, how do we say?
00:15:11
Yes to everything that we can and.
00:15:13
Then say when it’s time to go.
00:15:16
To be done.
00:15:17
Yeah, I love that you talked about like setting boundaries within yourself 1st and then communicating those.
00:15:22
So I think that is step one, even kind of identifying what do I value here at this Christmas season before I then can even expect other people to acknowledge that and to support that.
00:15:34
And I think Coley had mentioned this to me one time.
00:15:36
It’s really important to within family culture kind of talk about and define what you value before the kids can even realize it.
00:15:45
Because I mean, I know you had said this wholly about even bringing Dax to like things like grocery ministry wanting Dax to see the value in loving and serving the community and loving people outside of our family even before ourselves sometimes, and even as much as you’ve done that consistently over the years.
00:16:01
You still say, like he still thinks he’s the center of the world, right?
00:16:04
It is consistent like.
00:16:07
Messaging to your children before they even realize or can verbalize those values of what your family loves and values.
00:16:15
So I think trying to communicate those well to family and extended families.
00:16:21
Yes, I think even among Christians can have different ways in which we show love and show our care for.
00:16:28
On another I I think my husband and my nuclear families are believers, but even within that there are some different expectations around the holidays and how we show love and how we focus on on the spirit of it all but.
00:16:47
Trying to navigate kids not feeling like more of the center of attention than they already do feel like.
00:16:53
They always will to.
00:16:54
Something quite frankly, there’s probably a lot of adults who do the same thing.
00:16:57
Oh yeah, for sure and Cole you mentioned even time boundaries.
00:17:01
I think.
00:17:02
One thing I’m trying to practice and my own life is leaving some margin and that I think that’s harder at the holiday time.
00:17:10
But things do come up, and being able to say yes to the good and meaningful things that come up at the holiday time is going to be important.
00:17:18
And modeling that for our families is good too.
00:17:20
Yeah, that’s really good.
00:17:22
Yeah, I think I think about it’s, you know, in my family that’s very spread out across the country like Emily and I like in my family I’m the only one who lives in Minnesota now.
00:17:32
Emily family is very centralized here in the city sands.
00:17:36
Like one cousin who’s up in Duluth.
00:17:39
But everybody here so for me I.
00:17:42
And this was part of, you know, navigating the cruise at who’s holiday and we don’t have kids yet, so that obviously.
00:17:50
Right?
00:17:51
Is a very different dynamic than even having young kids or having multiple like.
00:17:54
I know a lot of families here do.
00:17:56
Is this sort of trade off you know between like who’s getting Christmas, who’s getting Thanksgiving?
00:17:58
Oh yeah.
00:18:02
Who’s getting this?
00:18:03
Who’s getting that?
00:18:04
And I think for me, the older that I get and the older that my family becomes, I think the more that they’ve honestly just kind of embraced the idea that it’s like.
00:18:12
The holidays are going to be kind of hit or miss because everybody kind of gone their wayward paths just a little bit because we are so spread out.
00:18:20
So when we can, we will.
00:18:21
Still, but I think it’s you know, just something unique.
00:18:25
In my case where.
00:18:27
We’ve kind of accepted that distance is just kind of the way that it is, and we’re not going to do this really contrived.
00:18:35
Everybody has to be everywhere all at once.
00:18:38
On Christmas Day, specifically.
00:18:39
Yeah, on Christmas yeah?
00:18:41
So that’s taken the pressure off some and that’s just part of, you know, at an early age we all had to get used to that distance.
00:18:49
And you know the sort of blended families and all that kind of stuff, so I know for some people, though, that can be really, really hard when they feel kind of in that time.
00:18:58
War between other in-laws or extended family members who really, really want to have everybody over.
00:19:04
But you know that you can’t so.
00:19:06
Yeah, you know, it reminds me that I had forgotten about this, but, you know, growing up so we were the ones that lived out of town.
00:19:12
My my parents grew up here in the cities and we lived in central Minnesota and so we were also heavily involved in our home church and so quite regular.
00:19:20
Really, our Christmas Eve Christmas Day weekend, whatever it was, would look like this.
00:19:27
We would spend all day at church on Christmas Eve, and there were probably 4 services, a children program, whatever it was, dad and I were in the choir.
00:19:35
You know, we would do all the things.
00:19:37
Yeah, half the time Dad was running the kids program.
00:19:40
Whatever it was, yeah, and and then we would jump in the car and eat dinner on the way down we would have cheese and crackers and Catawba.
00:19:47
Juice in the clear little glasses.
00:19:49
And my sister Kelsey, always like to put the in one minivan.
00:19:52
We had.
00:19:53
’cause, you know, that’s what we always had.
00:19:55
There was a cupholder where the.
00:19:58
Where the glass would like reflect light and so the light through the Catawba juice, which is sparkling, not wine.
00:20:05
Yeah yeah it’s sparkling, not wine.
00:20:09
Ah, but it would light up the insulin.
00:20:13
There would be like sparkles all over the car, ceiling and windows and grass.
00:20:15
Oh, it was your own little polar express.
00:20:17
It was, yeah, so we would have and we.
00:20:19
Would sing Christmas songs and.
00:20:21
Like we you know, do other things and.
00:20:21
Oh, that’s cool.
00:20:22
And we loved it.
00:20:24
And my parents were just trying to like keep us all you know.
00:20:26
From having like blood sugar crashes.
00:20:29
Like just trying to get through it.
00:20:30
That’s really cool.
00:20:31
Meat sticks and cheese and crackers.
00:20:32
And like we thought it was so special and then we would get to my grandparent.
00:20:36
My dad side of the family and we they would have been together all day and so.
00:20:39
We come in just for like hey.
00:20:41
Let’s do presidents.
00:20:42
By you know.
00:20:43
Like we hang out and have fun with the cousins for a while, we may would stay there for the night or we would then drive across the cities.
00:20:49
To my other grandparents, my mom side of the family because and they usually just had more room for us to sleep.
00:20:55
And then and then in Christmas Day morning we would spend with my mom side.
00:20:59
Of the family so I.
00:21:00
Yeah, it’s already.
00:21:01
Mean as a kid it was.
00:21:02
Like this is the.
00:21:03
Best you know.
00:21:05
And now as a parent, I’m like my parents are insane.
00:21:07
Holy cow.
00:21:11
But that’s also.
00:21:12
Yeah, that’s accurate.
00:21:13
You know, like my parents are are quick to say yes and they’re like.
00:21:17
No, let’s do it.
00:21:18
Let’s do it, but it became this tradition of like mom and dad were like I think you know, we’ve got our church is growing again.
00:21:25
Now we have 5 Christmas Eve services or something crazy at one point.
00:21:28
And maybe we should just go home and sleep and come down in the morning and we’d be like.
00:21:32
But no cheese and crackers in the car.
00:21:36
Like seriously, that’s what you.
00:21:37
Care about no man.
00:21:39
But I think that’s.
00:21:39
A good point though, because Christmas often like leads us to this point of sentimentalism that can be, for lack of a better term, toxic.
00:21:47
Sometimes right, and it’s good to reassess our traditions like is this tradition.
00:21:53
Actually something that is worth holding onto because it.
00:21:55
Points us to a bigger value or a bigger meaning beyond us.
00:21:59
Or is it something we just do because we feel trapped in this tradition?
00:22:02
Totally, yeah, I think you’re right.
00:22:04
I think it’s good to re-evaluate your traditions, but at the same time it was funny for.
00:22:08
My parents to realize that like that’s what we thought was special ’cause they just thought it was like an easy way.
00:22:13
To feed us.
00:22:13
In the car.
00:22:14
You know, so we were like no.
00:22:16
This is like really precious to us and so yeah, it doesn’t have to be grandiose to be meaningful and memorable either.
00:22:26
So one of the things my parents did is.
00:22:27
Like you know we.
00:22:29
To to kind of that, redeem the the culture.
00:22:32
Idea is there’s this awesome book called Santa are you for real?
00:22:37
And it was out of print for a while, but I think it’s been reprinted with new pictures that you know, don’t have the same.
00:22:43
Memories for me.
00:22:44
But but the whole thing was that it took the story of Saint Nicholas and introduced it to the idea and like, and that’s kind of how we ended up with Santa.
00:22:54
So like the answer ultimately was like, is Santa real?
00:22:57
Well, no, but yeah.
00:22:59
And it was this guy who loved Jesus, you know?
00:23:02
So we get back to the heart of the matter and and so we knew we didn’t ever grow up believing in Santa but.
00:23:02
Right?
00:23:08
It was like, Oh well, who’s?
00:23:09
Santa, oh, he’s that.
00:23:10
Guy based on Saint Nicholas.
00:23:11
Like from the beginning, yeah.
00:23:13
There is context, yeah?
00:23:14
There was context, and so it was like sure, you can talk about Santa or whatever, like it wasn’t.
00:23:18
A big deal.
00:23:19
Well, what are some other things that you guys have done in the past to kind of navigate the holiday season and all of its craziness?
00:23:26
Or to remember the reasons for why we celebrate this season of Advent?
00:23:33
I think that and this is one that I’ve definitely learned more in the last several years.
00:23:39
Uh, as one of those ways to embody a third way, which is to say that.
00:23:46
Come because we talked about boundaries and the necessity to understand like your own before communicating them.
00:23:52
But I think Coley you had said like don’t put boundaries around your boundaries and so having said that, I think one of the things that’s actually really beautiful is volunteering during the holiday season and also keeping your living room your dining room open too.
00:24:06
There’s single friends or.
00:24:07
People who don’t have a place to.
00:24:09
Go for the holidays because I think that communicates something way, way, way, way bigger about even just the Christmas story itself.
00:24:18
Because you know, Mary and Joseph were, for all intents and purposes, refugees in the middle of infanticide.
00:24:27
And, you know, Herodian.
00:24:29
You know oppression and again there was that 400 years of silence. So not only not only were they Jews who were waiting for that prophetic word, but they were also literally in the middle of, you know, governmental and societal oppression and.
00:24:46
Were you know looking for a sense of hospitality?
00:24:50
And so, how much more than is that then?
00:24:53
You know something that we can and should, I think, find ways and conduits in which to give that.
00:25:00
Yeah, one thing.
00:25:00
It reminds me of is that we.
00:25:02
Need to ask.
00:25:03
Our community group has a number of people that aren’t from here originally and it occurs not like we should ask them like what are your plans for Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
00:25:12
’cause my my grandparents were always great at that they would.
00:25:15
So it’s there would be somebody random from from the church or from the neighborhood or whatever, that was also at the table and and half the time grandma would have also found a little gift for them to open or something.
00:25:27
’cause that’s just how that’s how she is, and it’s awesome.
00:25:29
It’s an incredible example.
00:25:34
Yeah, it just makes me think I should.
00:25:35
We should ask our community groups and and people within Antioch to make sure that nobody.
00:25:41
At least nobody is alone who doesn’t want.
00:25:42
To be yeah yeah.
00:25:44
I think Joel and I, our families both live out of town and there have been when we first moved up here.
00:25:49
There was some friends of ours that we knew that would invite us over for things like Easter and Christmas Eve and stuff because they knew we didn’t have family around.
00:25:58
It was kind of like they invite lots of people like that and it’s kind of like this gathering of like.
00:26:03
Family list people, but we kind of it was a cool community and so over the past couple of years since Joel and I have been blessed to be able to buy a home, that’s been something that we’ve strived to do as well.
00:26:15
And it’s been really cool to see like yeah, it’s just kind of what the body of Christ does, right?
00:26:19
We take care of one another, and if that’s offering a place of peace.
00:26:23
And comfort and reflection for people at the holiday times.
00:26:26
Let’s do it.
00:26:27
That should be a part of.
00:26:28
Our culture, which I think actually again it’s sort of, I think, in a really potent way.
00:26:36
It is the sort of anti venom.
00:26:38
For you know consumerism and materialism, because it actively puts us in a posture to have to think about the other and to give up of our resources and our time and our effort instead of sort of hoarding it and thinking like you know, what’s the better deal that I could get because it kind of defies all those physics.
00:26:57
Yeah, and and then you.
00:26:58
Can invite people into a home where Christ is at the center.
00:27:01
Whether you have a Christmas tree in presence or you know.
00:27:05
Christmas gnomes or whatever.
00:27:09
You know we we love all that stuff in our house and not everybody does, and that’s that’s OK but but I think to let people see that like.
00:27:18
We celebrate Christmas, but we actually started this thing.
00:27:22
You know, you know we we’re the ones who own it really well.
00:27:22
Yeah, exactly.
00:27:27
I guess that’s a question then too.
00:27:28
You had mentioned like sometimes we do things a little bit differently in our home.
00:27:33
Do either of you have traditions of things like Advent Calendars, Committee sets, or ways in which you have allowed?
00:27:41
Maybe what you believe to be visualized a little bit more in your home?
00:27:45
That’s a great segue into .3.
00:27:47
All right, yeah?
00:27:51
Yeah koehly, I think you have probably a little bit more with your family being like all believers that maybe like you can speak to 1st so sure.
00:28:02
Well, I know what’s funny is you know my my dad has even spoken on similar topics before.
00:28:08
Maybe not related to Christmas but.
00:28:10
One of the things he always says is like, hey, we never grew up like we didn’t raise our kids with family devotions and they’ll kind of cringe.
00:28:17
Like please don’t hate.
00:28:18
Me, you know, ’cause it’s kind of like the like what you have to do, family devotions, but what we did see is we were talking about the Bible all the time, or about spiritual matters, or about a spiritual perspective on worldly matters.
00:28:32
Uhm, and I saw my dad reading his Bible all the time.
00:28:36
Yeah, so when it comes to Christmas it would be things like.
00:28:41
Uhm, my mom did collect those houses. I forget with a department 56 there’s little scenes we have like a ton of them.
00:28:48
Oh yeah.
00:28:48
I think she’s given away or sold a bunch of them, but we still have a bunch and it, you know, makes just like a warm space.
00:28:52
But a lot of people have those, but we also I, I think my youngest sister, especially they would collect nativity sets.
00:29:01
And when she was really little like really little, she would call them. She just called them away in a manger’s
00:29:06
Ha ha.
00:29:08
And so we had all these different versions of away in a Manger.
00:29:11
It’s like all over the house.
00:29:12
Yeah, super fragile and antique and some were just made of wood and somewhere you know a tad avant-garde, you know.
00:29:18
Yeah, totally.
00:29:19
But you could talk about what they were and who all the people were, and then sometimes we’d have like the wise men way far away from the main nativity set.
00:29:26
I didn’t ever think to do something like that.
00:29:28
And then over time they travel.
00:29:31
That’s really good.
00:29:31
It moves forward.
00:29:33
So in my house we were a little bit more nominally Christian, so there wasn’t ever all these.
00:29:41
You know, different overtures to.
00:29:43
To Christmas as a deeply you know, religious experience.
00:29:49
But we did have a Nativity set from like not the like the early 80s that we put out every single year.
00:29:56
It was legitimately made out of like Moss like it was rather interactive and pretty awesome.
00:30:02
And so I remember that would always be.
00:30:04
Set up on them and so we had like one of those gigantic armoires.
00:30:07
Uh, with walnut and all that stuff, so we’d hang up the Garland and then we’d put that kind of right in the center.
00:30:13
Uhm, so there was always.
00:30:15
I I guess, how can I say it?
00:30:18
There was always kind of an eclipse of deeper Christian meaning around the holiday, but in totality it never really, you know, went beyond that.
00:30:30
But one of our traditions that we did do was every single year we would do.
00:30:35
The Christmas Carol at the Guthrie Theater.
00:30:38
I think I had talked about this last year.
00:30:39
When I had preached.
00:30:41
And then we would do midnight mass afterwards.
00:30:43
OK.
00:30:44
So there was a very, you know, traditional liturgical sort of essence to the way that we celebrated.
00:30:51
Because, you know, there’s a really, you know, Oldtimey Baroque, sort of.
00:30:57
You know, feeling that the Christmas Carol invoked.
00:31:00
And then obviously doing midnight mass and a massive cathedral candlelit set a certain.
00:31:06
I’d and it associated, uh, kind of feeling or an atmosphere around Christmas, which is definitely kept with me.
00:31:14
My dad also was really big into.
00:31:17
He had a record player so when we went over to his apartment to decorate there was basically a vinyl record of the Westminster Chorale singing all these really old hymns and it just sounded like butter.
00:31:31
Oh, it was great.
00:31:33
Got you in the Christmas mood?
00:31:35
And yeah.
00:31:36
I’m trying to think my family growing up.
00:31:39
I think like yours.
00:31:40
Yeah, we had like an activity set.
00:31:42
It wasn’t made out.
00:31:42
Of Moss, though that’s super cool.
00:31:44
Yeah, it was really awesome.
00:31:47
Uhm, one of the things that like I don’t think I acknowledged how cool it was until I got older is the church I grew up in.
00:31:56
We had this tradition of every Advent season.
00:32:00
Families in our church would gather together and we would like take like the church, bus or church vans and we would go to like assisted living homes and would seeing like families would like sing Christmas carols at the doors of the people in like the nursing homes or the assisted living homes.
00:32:05
Oh yeah.
00:32:07
All cool.
00:32:14
That’s so nice.
00:32:15
And I think as a young kid you’re like where am I?
00:32:17
Why does it?
00:32:17
Smell funny in here but.
00:32:20
Now that I’m older, I’m like oh wow, that was actually pretty cool that families could gather around like singing Christmas carols to people who maybe didn’t have family that could come see them at Christmas time or.
00:32:32
Might have actually missed the ability to be able to go worship at a church service or things like that.
00:32:37
So I look back on that tradition and think, wow, that was pretty cool and I’m glad my parents let me do that.
00:32:44
And and then something that we are actually trying to start this year with my family.
00:32:51
Is having an Advent calendar that every day focuses on a different name of Christ?
00:32:56
All crossed.
00:32:56
So that’s something we hope to start doing, and I know my husband has brought this into our marriage since we’ve been married as they did on Christmas morning every year.
00:33:05
Having a birthday cake for Jesus and like literally singing Happy Birthday to Jesus and it I’m sure to an outsider has looked really funny the past couple years when two grown adults are just singing Happy Birthday on Christmas morning.
00:33:16
But it’s something we hope to continue with with our kids too.
00:33:18
Do yeah.
00:33:21
You know you were talking about Christmas carols.
00:33:23
Yeah, it’s second ago.
00:33:24
And that reminds me again, probably on those Christmas Eve drives we would, you know, you just find yourself talking.
00:33:30
We didn’t have smartphones yet.
00:33:32
We didn’t have iPads.
00:33:32
Right?
00:33:32
So like you’re actually interacting as a family in the car and we were probably listening to Christmas music.
00:33:37
And I remember one time we would ask.
00:33:40
We asked dad.
00:33:41
Hey what?
00:33:42
Or both of her parents were like what does that mean?
00:33:46
’cause I think it was.
00:33:47
Deck the halls with boughs of Holly FA.
00:33:49
La La La La.
00:33:51
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
00:33:51
And he’s like, OK, well deck the halls means like decorate the halls, boughs of holly, it’s dumb I think at the time he said like twigs and branches or berries and branches or something, yeah, and so we’re like, well, why don’t they just say that?
00:34:06
He’s like because decorate the stairway.
00:34:09
Oh yeah, ’cause it was decorate the stairs.
00:34:10
’cause the other?
00:34:11
Hall, like with the railings kind of means like decorate the stairs with beads and branches.
00:34:12
Oh yeah, yeah.
00:34:17
It’s like OK.
00:34:18
Well so then.
00:34:19
It became this thing where we would read.
00:34:21
Retooling of Christmas songs.
00:34:22
Yeah, so we would retool Christmas songs.
00:34:24
So I remember like the first Noel the first Noel.
00:34:29
The Angels did say was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay, so there’s there’s weird words and there’s weird, like grammar, and so it became the first Christmas.
00:34:37
Yeah, yeah.
00:34:42
This time the Angel said to the shepherds, who laid out in a field in the dark.
00:34:49
Something like that.
00:34:51
It’s like have you like done like the like reverse Google Translate where you put things in Google?
00:34:54
Translate into those.
00:34:55
Kids back to English.
00:34:58
So it’s kind of.
00:34:59
That’s the one where it’s like Christmastime, Christmastime Christmastime Christmastime, and that song just sounds kind of less sacred.
00:35:07
See, that’s it’s kind of funny ’cause like growing up as the youngest male.
00:35:07
Then in the French.
00:35:11
Of course, retooling Christmas songs met something way different.
00:35:16
Yeah, I’m pretty sure Jingle Bells Batman Smells was the mantra of every like middle school or.
00:35:21
Elementary boy in the 90s.
00:35:22
Yeah, you know or like you know, set the Christmas tree on fire FA.
00:35:25
La La La La La La.
00:35:26
Oh, I don’t think I heard.
00:35:27
That one.
00:35:28
Is that a brace of rice original?
00:35:28
Oh, is that just me?
00:35:31
I must have really been in a medal at an early age or something.
00:35:33
Like that so.
00:35:37
Yeah, but I think those those traditions that.
00:35:41
Are good and meaningful that we can look back on and that point us to Christ.
00:35:45
That’s a beautiful way ’cause we do, and that inevitably have more people in our homes in the holiday time for Christmas parties and things like that.
00:35:52
And some are believers, some are not.
00:35:54
But what a great way to not that we’re putting idols up in our home, but things that can tangibly point to the bigger meaning.
00:35:58
Right?
00:36:01
Behind what we believe and why we do.
00:36:03
What we do at Christmas.
00:36:05
So with those kind of traditions being in mind, are there other ways in which we can slow down and incorporate things like spiritual disciplines into the Advent season ’cause I know at the beginning you had mentioned that the whole one of the big points of Advent is to have these receptive hearts as we.
00:36:26
Anticipate the joy of the season.
00:36:30
Right?
00:36:30
So what would you say as far as using spiritual disciplines for that purpose?
00:36:35
Yeah, this is probably where a little bit more of my traditional and liturgical background comes to the forefront.
00:36:41
Because in my Episcopalian church, this was part of where the Book of Common Prayer actually came in during the Advent season, so there were specific parts of that book that we read together as a congregation that were, you know, a very devotional type.
00:36:58
Analog there was also.
00:37:01
I don’t know if either you were cold.
00:37:04
We’ve ever did these because did you both grow up like?
00:37:09
Covenant or FCA at all.
00:37:11
I grew up Baptist, yeah, but not.
00:37:12
OK, so.
00:37:13
Did you ever do like the advent candles like the three, the three pink ones, and the.
00:37:17
One purple one.
00:37:17
No, I never did.
00:37:19
I think sometimes in in things like Baptist churches or evangelical churches.
00:37:23
Sometimes I think there was a swing some.
00:37:26
Time that people were like we don’t want to get into these like traditions because that could.
00:37:30
Draw from the.
00:37:30
Purpose, but I think we swung too far.
00:37:32
So no, I did not, but I.
00:37:34
I have been in churches where that has been.
00:37:35
Yeah, ’cause that was.
00:37:38
So there were all those like small, like the collection of physical representations and reminders that were devotional in and of themselves.
00:37:45
So like for example.
00:37:48
When we would start advents, we’d have, literally, it was a set of candles, SO3, pink ones, and then one.
00:37:54
Purple one and there was a song that we sung and we’d like the first one in the first week.
00:37:59
And then we’d put it out at the end of service, and then we would light the two of them second week and then third week, and then all of them on Christmas Eve.
00:38:06
And then it would be like brought down the center between both pews and then like silent night was was done.
00:38:16
So there was like a lot of those kinds of things with the structure.
00:38:19
And high tradition that that stuff sort of built in.
00:38:23
Now obviously this doesn’t mean everybody has to start doing that in the middle of their hallways or staircases.
00:38:28
That’s not what I’m saying, but I think there are ways in which, like if you wanted to do those.
00:38:35
You know those candles as something on your dining room table?
00:38:40
Or kind of leading with good Advent devotionals, I know there’s I can’t remember the name of it from John Piper.
00:38:48
I think it.
00:38:48
Was the dawn of indestructible joy, which sounds kind of metal in and?
00:38:53
Of itself, so a.
00:38:54
Little bit feels like a band, yeah?
00:38:55
A little bit, but, uh, I know that’s a really good one.
00:38:58
There’s one that I.
00:38:59
Going to be like kind of putting out there.
00:39:01
I’m recommending during Advent in December and it’s a collection of Advent devotionals that were written by like Richard Foster, TF Torrance.
00:39:10
And these really amazing theologians over the course of a couple 100 years.
00:39:15
Uh, so integrating those either into your own personal devotional time.
00:39:21
I know Coley.
00:39:21
You had said that, like Oh my gosh, we never did.
00:39:23
Family devotion, so if that’s your right.
00:39:25
Thumb and it feels maybe a little bit easier to integrate.
00:39:29
That’s totally awesome.
00:39:30
If it’s not something that you do, then maybe that’s something you consider for the for the Advent season as a way to sort of pause and meditate on those things when it seems like you can get swallowed up.
00:39:40
In the middle of schedules and stuff.
00:39:42
Yeah, yeah, you know what?
00:39:43
I think we did do though, is like we would change up the books that were on the coffee table or in the kids bookshelf like we would.
00:39:50
We would have those Christmas books Jan Brett books that we loved and you know the Santa are you for real and different things like that, but so you would engage with it differently.
00:40:01
Even if it wasn’t like everyone sit down now so we can talk about gold, you know?
00:40:04
But God.
00:40:07
Is that an impression?
00:40:08
I don’t.
00:40:09
So when my dad does.
00:40:11
Probably some old revival preacher.
00:40:14
Shout out to her bloomquist in the other room.
00:40:18
Yeah, watching the kids now, yeah.
00:40:20
The one thing that I think is just important that like.
00:40:23
The Christmas season comes with a lot.
00:40:25
It’s just a lot and it’s it’s a lot because of a lot of reasons.
00:40:30
You know that we’ve already talked about culture is crazy and yadda yadda.
00:40:33
But even like as a Christian like God coming to the earth Incarnate.
00:40:38
Is a lot.
00:40:39
Yeah, it’s it’s a lot to process.
00:40:41
It’s a lot to celebrate.
00:40:44
And but ultimately the.
00:40:48
I think if we can get through this season, I don’t mean get through it like just grin and bear it but like.
00:40:52
Uhm, if at the end of this season we can say that we reflected on Christ’s coming and especially on the hope that that brings, I think that sets us up really well for 2023 or for the coming year, especially because right after the Christmas season.
00:41:10
January and February are often the darkest months.
00:41:13
They’re the longest months.
00:41:15
They are the hard crash after holidays like December might get cold, but it’s cheery and you know you don’t have carolers coming around on January 14th.
00:41:27
To kind of warm it up and, and that’s OK, but that that means that the the thrill of hope that we get in December is what can carry us through.
00:41:39
January February, March when it snows in April again.
00:41:43
You know, and we’re still not to Easter.
00:41:45
Yeah, and I mean that brings up a point of, you know, things like seasonal depression are real and a lot of people experience that in Minnesota and it always every year.
00:41:55
It surprises me, but it shouldn’t.
00:41:57
The amount of things that just seem so dark and heavy around the holiday times, you know, we, we’ve seen things.
00:42:03
Historically, like more suicides happening in the winter months.
00:42:07
People that we know and love that are battling depression.
00:42:09
People that we know that have lost loved ones sometimes at the holiday time that hits the hardest for sure.
00:42:15
And so that’s why the hope that we have in Christ and in the incarnation is so important to just proclaim so loudly this time of year.
00:42:25
Yeah, it really does speak to.
00:42:28
You know, I think about the way in which there’s a particular loneliness that I think people people tend to associate with those longer months.
00:42:36
Like you’re shut in, you feel like a cave troll.
00:42:38
The the days are really short and yeah, there isn’t that.
00:42:41
It’s not enveloped by any kind of like particular celebration, and so I think that is part of where community is really important.
00:42:48
Is to sort of, I think in collation 6 when Paul says to carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ. So I think that.
00:42:56
You know we’re honesty in some of those things I know in our community groups and DNA groups to just say, like yeah, the holidays are actually kind of tough for me and then knowing to like kind of keep tabs on those people to pray for them regularly with the more fervent’s and to just kind of check in on them. Like hey, how is all that stuff going? Because I remember.
00:43:16
Being in my last program.
00:43:18
I originally was doing marriage and family therapy and there was this kind of twisted joke that it’s like business booms after the holidays.
00:43:26
You know?
00:43:26
Oh for sure, yeah.
00:43:27
Because there are so many people who go and seek counseling because it’s you know.
00:43:32
Oh my goodness, family was so awful this year or it was another year that I was lonely or another year that I think.
00:43:37
About where I lost my parents or something like that.
00:43:39
So I think that being like us being the church, the hands and feet of Jesus is to, you know, be compassionate, intentional people.
00:43:50
Uh, with some of our closest, you know of kin like in our community groups and in this place to help you know, cross the sticks of January, February, in particular, when all this is over so.
00:44:05
For sure.
00:44:06
Yeah, and and we have the benefit of celebrating Advent on the other side of Easter, you know, I, I think of you, know how Mary and Joseph and the rest felt like the only person who seemed truly excited about that whole week was.
00:44:22
The prophet.
00:44:25
Who had been waiting for Christ to come?
00:44:29
John the Baptist AB.
00:44:31
Simeon Simeon Zachariah Zachariah.
00:44:36
Zachariah and Elizabeth
00:44:37
So I think of all the people that were involved in Christ incarnation in the moment, and you know so much heaviness with you, know unmarried pregnancy and refugees and having to travel to Bethlehem and all these things.
00:44:50
But then, here’s Zachariah with this like huge song of celebration.
00:44:54
It’s like, yeah.
00:44:55
That’s this, is it?
00:44:57
This is.
00:44:57
What we’ve been waiting for, and I think that.
00:45:00
I think we can be that to culture in this season where like no no.
00:45:04
This is what we want.
00:45:05
This is what you need.
00:45:06
This is who you’ve been looking for.
00:45:09
Uhm, and yeah that we can live in that hope.
00:45:12
Well, thanks for coming out.
00:45:13
Again, yeah, I hopefully will not have another accident going back to work.
00:45:17
Yeah, we’re recording this on a very snowy day, and it’s perfect.
00:45:20
Which is like deeply ironic, yeah?
00:45:22
It’s that’s.
00:45:23
Starts the conversation.
00:45:23
Perfect.
00:45:25
Yeah, exactly exactly having Grace for others on the road.
00:45:28
Yes, exactly.
00:45:30
Ha ha ha.
00:45:30
All the things.
00:45:31
Sweet, well we hope that all of you have a fantastic advent season here and I hope you can join us on Sunday mornings to celebrate it together in person through song and and looking at the.
00:45:41
Word, but until our next podcast have a good.
00:45:45
One see you later antiok.
00:46:02
Special thanks to Spotify artists.
00:46:04
As a car AKA Ryan Mauer.
00:46:06
Our worship leader for.
00:46:08
Allowing us to use his music on this podcast.
00:46:10
Thanks to Bryce Langley for joining us for this conversation and for my parents for becoming de facto babysitters.
00:46:17
While we were able to record.
00:46:19
Thanks for listening.
00:46:20
I’ll see you next week.
00:46:35
Last surviving Member of this podcast, I would like to take a moment and say.
00:46:40
That Kohli and Rachel are absolute Saints.