Life in the City: DNA Group Overview with Sydney Deas

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Everybody welcome to.

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The life in the city podcast from Antioch Community Church here in northeast Minneapolis.

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I hope you like this new intro.

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This music that you’re hearing is from a guy named Zakar AKA Ryan Maurer, our worship director.

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He is a a Spotify artist as well, so I encourage you to check.

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Him out, Z.A.K.A.R. and enjoy the rest of his stuff.

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It’s pretty awesome and he’s been gracious enough to let us use it here on the podcast.

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Today we are having a conversation with Sidney Deas she is a covenant member here at Antioch and we just love her.

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But we are specifically talking about DNA groups.

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The one of the ministries that we have here at Antioch.

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And if you don’t know what DNA groups are fantastic, you can keep listening and find out.

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But before we get into that, I just want to give you a heads up on one thing.

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You know, we say at Antioch that we desire to be a loving family, inviting all people into the life changing way of Jesus Christ, and our hope is always that everything we do would reflect that that it would be aiming towards that or an overflow of that of that mission.

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And and we have something coming up that you may not think fits with that or is relevant, but it really is.

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On Sunday, November 20th, Covenant members of Antioch will have an opportunity to vote on the upcoming years budget.

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Now, like I said, this doesn’t maybe sound like the most fun thing ever, but our hope is that our budget as a church would reflect our values and our mission.

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So if you are a covenant member.

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You should have received an e-mail in the last couple of days.

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That had the budget in it and I would ask that you make sure you open that and look through it that the financial team has done a ton of work to get that ready and to get some things changed to reflect better and to give you a little more information than maybe we’ve had in the past and we.

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We want your feedback.

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The finance team wants your feedback for that.

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So if you have questions, please reach out to Joe, Love our Treasurer and make sure you mark your calendars for Sunday November 20th where we will have an opportunity to vote on that upcoming budget.

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So that’s all I’ll say about that.

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For now.

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You can enjoy this conversation with Sidney DS.

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I’m glad you’re here.

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Well, hey, welcome back.

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It’s been a few weeks yeah it’s been a bit.

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Hot minute it has been a.

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Minute, and we’ve had a couple things.

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Going on since.

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We’ve last met, but we are back.

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I’m Kohli, I’m Rachel and as mentioned we have Sidney Diaz with us.

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Who is.

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Covenant member here at Antioch.

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Come say hi.

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Hi, it’s good to be here.

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Thank you.

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I should mention we also have a very, very special teeny tiny our tiniest guest so far.

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That’s true.

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A little true.

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Lydia is also joining us for this podcast.

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Today, emphasis on little.

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Sticks and a.

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Half weeks old. Someday I’ll have to tell her she was on her first podcast when she was 6 1/2 weeks old.

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That’s great.

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And by then she’ll go mum.

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What’s a?

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Yeah, exactly right.

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Something else that’s new and cool.

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Oh my gosh, you were on podcasts.

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So outdated.

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You’re such a millennial.

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Well, certainly we know that many of our church members might see you up on stage with using your bass guitar from the worship team, but we want to know a little bit more about you.

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So let’s talk about who you are first, and then we’ll dive into some of the content.

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About DNA groups that we wanted to talk about today.

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So first tell us a little about yourself.

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What do you do for work?

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How do you fill your time?

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Tell us a little bit.

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About your family.

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Yeah, so my name is Sydney as was mentioned already.

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My husband name is Drew.

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I often when I introduced the two of us, I say this is my husband drew and I’m not responsible for anything he says or does.

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If you’ve met him, you know he has a personality of his own.

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We’ve been coming to antiok, I guess it’s been almost four years.

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I think I started coming January of 2019, so that would be almost four years and then when Drew moved up to Minnesota before we got married, he started coming in like March or something like that.

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So we got married later that year, but we were coming to Antioch even before we were married.

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So so yeah, it’s been about four years.

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We are now a family of three as of 6 1/2 weeks ago when Trula was born, so that’s been super fun. I am a teacher I teach at.

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A Christian Montessori school in Roseville, but I’m taking a break right now with Trula.

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And yeah, we’ll see it.

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What capacity I go back to teaching?

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Probably something part time and.

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And yeah, we’ve been involved at Antioch through.

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Community groups really, since pretty soon after we started coming shout out to Rachel because Rachel and Joel invited us to their community group like I think we went.

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Honestly, we’d been married for like 2 weeks or something.

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I think we went to Community Group for the first time.

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We were just.

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Like that’s all right back from our honeymoon.

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We moved to Minnesota and we’re like.

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OK, we’re going to community group.

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I think you also joined our Community group like the week after it had started.

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That’s fair, yeah.

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I think we launched a new Community group.

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We had like one meeting and.

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Then you and drew were like we’re joining too and we just like came and yeah, you didn’t.

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Well, you recently left that we’ll get to that.

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Later, but you stuck around.

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For quite some time with us, yeah.

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Actually became a.

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Joke, because the first the first week we came you guys were like.

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This is crazy like we have someone new coming.

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We just launched and so I think between the three couples that launched the group you guys kept saying.

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But feel free to like.

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Check out other groups like you don’t have to be.

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In our.

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Group and then it became a joke that we’re like how many times are you going to tell us to?

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Feel free to check out another group.

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Yeah, we might have.

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Felt like I didn’t want him there, but.

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We knew we knew.

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Really just wanted to let you.

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Look for others if needed.

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We didn’t need to check out any.

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Other groups we knew we wanted to be in yours all.

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I love it you knew what you wanted.

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You knew where you were supposed to be, yeah.

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Until a minute ago?

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Yeah, that’s true.

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What what?

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What have you guys recently changed about community groups?

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Yeah, so there was recently some community group multiplication which we know is a good thing, but I think we all kind.

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Knew it was coming up just because we were like filling up Joel and Rachel House and it was becoming.

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You know your group is a little big when it’s like you feel hesitant to invite new people on Sunday because you’re like they might be overwhelmed by how many people are there or there just might not be enough chairs for new people.

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So or logistically getting around the room.

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Like sharing like how we’re all doing and praying for one another took a very long time and we had babies crying to go to sleep while we were doing that.

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Right, yeah?

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Yeah, yeah it was just.

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Becoming too big in a good way, and I think even Drew had said for a while he’s like I think we’re going to have to like multiply at some point, like don’t talk about it.

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We’re not breaking up the family.

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So yeah, Nicholas and Katie, they launched a group out of the loves group.

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And yeah, initially we weren’t thinking about joining them, not because they’re not wonderful.

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They really are, but I was just like, oh, there’s just like too much transition in our lives or having a baby like.

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Like everything feels like it’s changing already like let’s just keep community group the same.

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But then we met with them and they talked about like their vision and their their mission behind wanting to lead a community group and also like as I was talking to them, I realized that a lot of people in the love Community group were in like periods of transition.

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So I was a little convicted.

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It’s like OK, maybe I should like try and like hear from God on this and not just be.

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Nope, too many things are changing.

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I like I reject the idea of leaving so after we thought about it and prayed about it more, we decided to go with them.

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So it’s been really great, yeah?

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Cool, and it’s awesome, because now there’s two groups that have room for new people.

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Yeah, and and are, you know, I know Rachel.

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You have said that your your renewed group, the group that’s left, I guess, is like you have a chance to re identify yourself and and get to know each other again.

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Yeah, those are yeah vulnerability in a group of like 19 people.

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’cause you’re smaller.

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Yeah it can be hard sometimes, but when you’re back down to like 9 or 10 people you can.

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You know, open up a little bit more and feel more comfortable sharing and so that’s been a beautiful blessing.

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I think for both groups right now.

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Definitely, and it’s it’s cool that, like I still totally feel like, well, I feel like all of antiok is family, but you know, like community groups are like a closer.

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For sure.

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Ah, just closer relationships.

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So I still feel so close to every.

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One in the loves group and then now it’s like I’m meeting new people and getting to know them better in this new group.

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So yeah, it’s the the multiplication really is beautiful, even if it’s painful at the.

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Time totally.

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That’s awesome.

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Well, and that actually it kind of leads into our conversation about DNA groups because one of the no matter what we do, no matter how much multiplying.

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We do.

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Community groups are still going to be too big for certain conversations or for certain things.

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They’re still going to be mixed company men and women kids like they’re still.

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Should be usually between 10 and 15 people or so.

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8 and 15 maybe and and so we have this other tool in our tool belt called DNA groups and so that’s what we’re gonna talk about today.

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So Sidney talk.

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A little bit about your DNA group.

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You want to talk about what first or or just general experience.

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Here it is.

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Ah, sure, yeah.

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So I, I feel like you kind of like hinted at it already, but DNA groups are like it’s like a smaller, closer knit community.

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Kind of under the banner of community groups.

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A lot of times I think DNA groups are members.

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That are in a community group together who then start a smaller DNA group and it’s usually like all men or all women.

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And I think it’s usually supposed to be like three to four people.

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Holy, I know you’re in a you’re in a bigger DNA.

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Group right? Yeah, mine’s an anomaly we we we accidentally got really big.

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For Christmas

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In a way that’s a good thing, though, that so many people wanted to wanted to.

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Right?

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But yeah, our group is.

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It started as three and now it’s four.

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So yeah, we did start as like members from the love Community group.

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Uh, we just kind of like put it out there.

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Anyone who is interested and Rachel and Lindsey and I were all interested in being in a DNA group and then I done that leadership training with you, so I volunteered to lead it.

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Although I feel like I’ve put lead in like quotation marks there ’cause it’s like you know we’re like all doing DNA grouped together like the leader, kind of.

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Maybe helps make sure like we’re actually meeting or like.

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What chapter are we on or like some logistical things?

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But I don’t really feel like it’s like I’m your leader.

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And yeah, it’s it’s not like that.

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It’s just like a small.

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Group discussion

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Yeah, and I and I should say so.

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This DNA model is not ours.

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Originally we didn’t.

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We didn’t create it, it was designed by.

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Saturate this ministry out of.

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Jeff Vander Salt his.

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Church and DNA stands for Discover, nurture act.

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And you guys know this.

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But for our listeners the the goal in each in each time that the DNA group gets together is to get into the word and discover what it has to say to nurture one another.

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Hearts and that can involve.

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You know, talking about life, caring for one another?

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Yeah, but whatever that means, getting into each other’s grill a little bit about maybe where we’re not living out the gospel like we know we ought to be.

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And and then the A is for act, and so it’s the question of I don’t just want to learn head knowledge from scripture, but how can I live it out today?

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How can I live it out this week?

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And so the discovery nurture.

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In fact, you can also think of it as head heart and hands.

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Discover from the head nurture the heart.

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Act out with your hands.

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And and you are right that like every group needs a leader for like logistically you need a leader and it’s good to have someone who has like.

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You’ve had a little bit of training with it, and you’ve had you’ve been doing kind of the basic questions and those kinds of things a little longer, so you can guide that discussion, but the idea is not that there would be a leader with, you know the peons that you’re teaching in the group.

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It’s that you are together gospel ING, one another leading each other.

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Back to Jesus.

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As it calls for, so it’s fair and I think it’s actually even good that you don’t feel like you’re the.

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Know it all of the group, yeah?

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Really not, I feel like it is a communal like life on life, discipleship and one of the things.

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Yes we meet our group meets every other Thursday typically, but having even like a texting thread with people in your DNA group where it’s just a little closer knit of like everyday gospel ING of each other of how are we all doing?

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Just checking in with one another.

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Making sure we’re all staying sane, right?

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But also sharing those prayer requests.

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Or just revealing more of our heart of how God’s working in us? What? What are the frustration points in my day that I might need some truth spoken into has been really good for my soul to have people that know me a little deeper that pushed me to be a little more vulnerable when I might want to like just stay in my comfort zone and clam up.

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And just go along my day.

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I have people that are going to check in with me and so that’s really helpful.

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Yeah, I’m glad you mentioned the texting thread because I feel like that has been really great on a like a number of fronts.

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It’s just one being like.

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Personally I am not someone who usually ends up feeling comfortable sending prayer requests in like a larger community group texting thread and I don’t know why that is like I love that members of our community group will send prayer requests there.

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But like just personally, I think I usually if something pops into my head.

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I’m like, oh, it’s like not a big enough deal to bother everybody with which.

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Is a lie anyway, but.

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Which is a lie anyway.

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But it’s just like that.

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Yep, that’s

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Where I’m at, but I know that like in a smaller text.

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Thread where we’re all.

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You know sending prayer requests and stuff, it just feels it just feels easier.

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And also there are like there are some prayer requests that, like you might just feel more comfortable sharing with only women.

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If you’re a woman or only men, if you’re a man, and so I think that has been really helpful and then Coley.

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For sure.

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This was something you shared as an idea.

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That we have used in our DNA group is just that, like.

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We we love to chat with each other like we are great.

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Friends and it’s so fun to get together.

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But the problem is like if we get together, you know for an hour and a half or two hours and we all want to chat about how we’re doing like there.

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Goes the.

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Entire the entire time.

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And we’re not like evening.

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Actually getting into the word or like looking at any of the discussion questions.

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So we pretty much.

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Like before we meet, we’ll usually.

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I’ll send out just a couple like questions like how are you doing?

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Like what is God teaching you through motherhood or something like that.

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And then we kind of like each send a text to just sort of share where we’re at, and I think that’s been really helpful.

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’cause then we we meet and we like have a touch point for how we’re already doing or.

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Like there was one week where everyone was just like having a rough time and I was just like we’re just going to change up what we’re doing.

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We’re not really going to do the discussion questions.

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Which I loved, yeah.

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We’re going to like do something totally different, but we wouldn’t have known that if it weren’t for like sharing how we’re doing right.

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Yeah, it allowed.

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I think that week in particular was really I think I had told you this.

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Just really I think beneficial for my soul and restful.

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For me in one sense, because you wanted to get a feel for how everybody was doing as we were walking in from our days almost ahead of time and then we were able to kind of be repentant with one another and gospel one another and give each other truth that we just needed on that day.

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And not that the book isn’t good for that too, but it was what we needed in the moment and that was really great.

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And I think that’s where some small group things.

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And as we adapt and grow with one another, we learn each other’s needs better. And that was a really beautiful time.

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I think, yeah, I just think the Holy Spirit like lead that for sure and and that’s the beauty of going.

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Off script sometimes.

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Yeah, and and the book is not so.

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The book we’re talking about is it’s called growing in Christ together we just call it the DNA book.

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It’s a 16.

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Week study I think my group took most of a year to get through it.

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You know, because we meet every other week and then you know, yeah.

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Life happens.

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But it’s not designed to be like.

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Here’s the 16 weeks don’t go off book, you know, and after.

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These 16 weeks do the book again.

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Cool yeah.

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It’s it’s meant to be a diving board, like a launch into.

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Uh, because what I what I appreciate is that it it doesn’t assume anything and so it.

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You can start with people that maybe have never been in a group where they’ve had to.

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Be vulnerable before.

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And it teach.

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The book teaches you as a group how to Share your story with God in mind, not just.

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Here’s all the drama in my.

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Life, you know?

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But but here’s how God has worked in my life or is working or what I’m learning or whatever.

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But then also like.

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Yeah, it teaches you how to ask good questions of each other.

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It teaches you how to ask good questions of the word and.

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There was a there was a guy in DNA groups who I did not get permission to reference so I won’t say his name, but he was.

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He said at one point that he just appreciated his DNA group because one of the guys especially was so good at asking him questions that got to the heart of the situations.

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That he was talking about and it made him realize places where he didn’t even know he had.

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Like maybe other emotions or other things going on or deeper issues or areas of unbelief.

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I’m done.

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That were more than just circumstantial.

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And and then getting to deal with that.

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You know, I think it’s easy for women especially to get together and just talk and it can feel like we connected and we did.

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You know it, maybe maybe that’s true, but I think in a in gospel relationships we can.

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Connect and then go that extra step.

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That’s that’s why I think the book is really good at teaching of how do you just go from wow?

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I’m really sorry that’s happening, or even can I pray for you to OK.

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How is the Lord?

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How does the Lord want to use this to make you more like?

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Himself right now or where are.

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Areas of unbelief, and when I say unbelief, it’s not like.

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Oh no, you’re not saved anymore.

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But where am I living like Jesus isn’t totally sovereign or in what way am I living like I’m supposed to be the creator of the universe?

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You know, I’m I’m not living like the gospel is true and I think sometimes I I think I’m pretty self aware until someone else.

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Asks me a good question and I’m like wow I did not see that one coming and I don’t have an answer for you.

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I need to think about it.

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Yeah, and I think.

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That the book.

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Gives us a good model for how to build those muscles for sure.

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It specifically does it in well.

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I’ll let Sidney explain that, but there’s.

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There’s the four questions if you’ve ever gone through DNA book, you will know the four questions.

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But it first uses it as a way to read the Bible together, and that’s kind of the launching pad for DNA is reading in the word together and.

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Asking yourself more questions so.

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Truly has a lot to.

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Say about it as well.

00:20:35

Yeah, I think I mean, I think what you both were saying there is is so good that like.

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First, like Coley talking about a group of women getting together.

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I know like the last time we met, we discussed the chapter on Community and we were like reflecting on Christian communities.

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We’ve been apart of before and it even brought a realization to me of like a community that I was apart of in college.

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I was like, yeah, this is like like we’re each other people like this is so great.

00:21:06

We’re in Christian community together but looking back on it I see that like.

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Scripture was missing a lot of the time in that community, and it turned into sometimes more like we’re really just like there for each other as we wallow in our self pity.

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And so like just looking back on it, it’s like that’s not what biblical Christian community is supposed to look like.

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Yes, we were all Christians.

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And yes, we were in community together, but.

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Sometimes yeah, it turned into just like woe is me.

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Life is hard.

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So I love that about.

00:21:36

DNA groups that, like there’s the discover and we’re focusing on Scripture.

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And yeah, the four questions are very helpful with that.

00:21:45

So the four questions are, who is God?

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What has God done?

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Who am I?

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And then?

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How do I live?

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And I think those are really helpful because we are self-centered humans and when we read Scripture it can be so easy to be like what’s my take away?

00:22:03

How do I live?

00:22:04

What should I do as a result of what I just read and not that that’s always bad, but like one we need to like?

00:22:14

Approach the Bible.

00:22:15

Looking at the greater context, like who is this written to originally and two, it’s all supposed to point back to who God is and what he’s done.

00:22:25

And so if we don’t start with who God is and what he’s done, then I think we end up with like really shallow takeaways or we just end up.

00:22:34

Like walking away like I guess I should just like try to be a better Christian because I’m failing in this, this and this, but we’re not like looking to God first.

00:22:38

Right?

00:22:42

So yeah, those questions are really helpful.

00:22:45

I mean, there were some of us in our Community group that like geeked out and were like 4 questions.

00:22:49

4 things to look for.

00:22:49

Let’s get highlighters with four different colors.

00:22:52

That is not me by the.

00:22:53

Way that might be Rachel, but it’s so.

00:22:55

Not me to Lindsay Brooks as well.

00:22:58

This is why Rachel is our office.

00:22:59

Manager not either of us.

00:23:02

But one thing I notice and even like from a visual aspect of doing different colored highlighting is like, oh, my goodness, there’s so much.

00:23:08

When I was reading Scripture that you’re right, I was so self-centered and focused on myself. Reading scripture that it was like Oh my goodness, I think one of the first passages we walked through.

00:23:18

As in Ephesians Ephesians chapter 3.

00:23:20

And just reading about all of the things that God is and God does, and then knowing that it’s on our behalf, it was just we.

00:23:31

I remember walking away from nights being like.

00:23:33

Who there’s a lot here that I need to just like sit in about who God is this week and so it’s refreshing and I think even those four questions talking about the scriptures we’re reading are also.

00:23:46

A nice diving board to bring into our relationship with one another as we’re talking about what’s going on and what hurts in our weeks and what points or frustrations we have, we can almost use those questions of OK.

00:23:58

Well, who is God?

00:23:59

Well, you’re not.

00:24:00

You’re talking about this frustration, what does that say about who God is and what is he doing that you may not?

00:24:05

Notice as you’re walking through this situation and then who does that say about who you are and what you can do then?

00:24:12

I think it gives a great launching pad and Kohli, I know that ties in with.

00:24:15

Something that you’ve you’ve talked.

00:24:17

Through with many women is something called fruit to root.

00:24:20

Yeah, and it’s a tool from the same group of people from his own ministry, yeah?

00:24:23

Oh, I didn’t know that, that’s cool.

00:24:27

That it’s the same for questions, you just flip them around.

00:24:32

What I love about looking at the four questions.

00:24:34

That’s why they.

00:24:35

Seemed so familiar.

00:24:36

’cause you had taught me about fruits around and like this.

00:24:39

Feels really familiar.

00:24:40

That’s so funny.

00:24:41

I didn’t know that.

00:24:41

I didn’t, I didn’t know.

00:24:41

You’re not going anywhere.

00:24:42

There I didn’t know they.

00:24:43

Weren’t they were connected, yeah.

00:24:44

Who should link these resources and the show notes to do?

00:24:47

That well and.

00:24:47

It occurs to me like maybe we.

00:24:48

Need to do a part.

00:24:49

Two of just this discussion where we.

00:24:51

Do a mini.

00:24:52

Training on fruit.

00:24:52

Fruit, oh, it’s so great it’s.

00:24:53

That would be really.

00:24:54

Cool tough to.

00:24:55

Do when you know it’s like.

00:24:57

Maybe we have to say things like pause the.

00:24:58

Podcast and yeah.

00:25:00

That’s like a tutorial, but this workshop.

00:25:03

The teaching you did on fruit to root.

00:25:05

Was very helpful.

00:25:05

Like if you had a podcast episode about it, I would go back and reference it, ’cause when I go to try and explain it to someone I’m like, I know how it works in my head.

00:25:13

But when I go to explain it, I have trouble.

00:25:15

So yeah, that’s a good idea.

00:25:17

Yeah, well so with.

00:25:18

The four questions, starting with Who’s God when we’re looking at Scripture, we’re asking and not every passage in Scripture is going to answer all four of these, but they might be implied, or they’re just they’re just good to look for because you’re right.

00:25:29

Our input, our tendency will be to look for what, what does it say about me or my life?

00:25:35

Just me and Jesus or something?

00:25:37

But sometimes that’s not God’s primary point.

00:25:41

Yeah, maybe I’m not the main character in this story.

00:25:49

But the looking for who is God?

00:25:54

What is God done or what is he doing?

00:25:56

Who am I?

00:25:56

What’s my identity?

00:25:58

And then, in light of those questions, they all flow from one to the next.

00:26:01

In light of that, how do I live?

00:26:03

And unfortunately, what happens is as soon as we see a verb in scripture, like a command.

00:26:09

And or as soon as we get to that question of how should I live, we start.

00:26:14

Should shooting on ourselves and we it becomes guilt.

00:26:19

And those first three questions can so be be so freeing and fun and enjoyable and and life giving and then like oh, my word like God is sovereign and he knows me and he loves me and.

00:26:30

He’s not stressed by what’s happening around me, whether it’s whatever and I know that because of what he has done most clearly through Jesus, but then also, I, you know, I can think of specific examples that fit with.

00:26:45

Whatever, and in light of that I I know that I’m made in his image and I’m valued and I’m loved and I’m cared for and I’m not forgotten and I’m not, you know.

00:26:53

Second rate or whatever, and then we get to.

00:26:56

How should I live and all of a sudden it’s so easy to shift into like oh OK, so I need to like be like.

00:27:02

Jesus OK, quick be like Jesus.

00:27:05

Like try to like muscle through.

00:27:07

It and it’s like.

00:27:08

Well, no no no no.

00:27:09

No, no no.

00:27:09

Keep with the spirit of the.

00:27:10

First three, yeah, the freedom that comes.

00:27:12

With the first three questions, yeah.

00:27:15

And then just choose to quote UN quote.

00:27:17

Level up in R Christianity, right?

00:27:18

Yeah, exactly exactly.

00:27:21

And so the the.

00:27:23

I think that’s where we can help each other.

00:27:25

In these groups.

00:27:27

Remember that and remember that it’s not a performance based faith and it’s not a a way to get approval from God, but it’s what we would just naturally do if we really believed God is and what he said.

00:27:44

You know, and I I mean, I think we all have relationships like this to.

00:27:47

Where we’ve been the person where.

00:27:50

Needs the constant reminder that they are liked.

00:27:54

Yeah, you know, like.

00:27:55

I’ve had friendships before where I’m like.

00:27:57

Do you not believe me?

00:27:59

How, like you know, like you just keep apologizing for your presence I.

00:28:03

Can bend that person relationship before they make.

00:28:06

Sure, you still like.

00:28:07

Me like what have I told you?

00:28:09

Or done that makes you think.

00:28:10

Otherwise, my husband has said those exact words to me before.

00:28:13

Oh, that’s funny.

00:28:15

Yeah, and and and there might be.

00:28:16

Times when you’re like, well, actually.

00:28:20

This business didn’t feel.

00:28:20

That’s fair.

00:28:21

Real living but but we love you, drew.

00:28:24

Oh, but like with with Christ like that’s never the case.

00:28:27

Yeah, yeah.

00:28:28

And so we can remind each other of that truth, and that if I’m feeling disconnected or like, I don’t know what he’s doing or where he is.

00:28:37

I may not actually have an answer for what he’s doing.

00:28:39

I may not be able to say like ’cause we don’t want to land on platitudes of like it’ll all.

00:28:43

Work out so like.

00:28:45

Just live in home.

00:28:45

Yeah, because it’s actually no.

00:28:47

That’s not what my hope is anyway.

00:28:47

They were toxic, positivity kind of thing.

00:28:49

Yeah, sure yeah yeah.

00:28:51

But I can live in the hope that.

00:28:54

But God is making all things new, yeah, and in the meantime I can still be at peace even if the world around me is not or the circumstances around me or my own heart is.

00:29:05

Not well in just the like, the freedom that comes from like really recognizing like who we are as like children.

00:29:14

Of God and sons and daughters of God, and then reminding each other of that.

00:29:18

I was recently.

00:29:20

I chaperoned, uh, a middle school retreat at Camp Shamina

00:29:25

We haven’t, sorry.

00:29:26

Yeah, when I was like 8 months pregnant or something I was like hope I don’t actually most.

00:29:30

Like 9 months pregnant, you were very.

00:29:32

Hope I don’t have a.

00:29:32

Close to going.

00:29:33

Baby, I can’t stand not come.

00:29:33

Into labor, yeah.

00:29:35

But one of the first.

00:29:36

Time I didn’t want to meet.

00:29:39

But one of.

00:29:39

The so this is like four of the middle schoolers, but I like got so much out of this.

00:29:44

One of the staff members at my school he does like like theater and he teaches theater at.

00:29:52

He teaches the theater and apologetics at the school that I work at, and he’s done like some scripture memory where he will like memorize a whole chapter and then he will like.

00:30:01

Perform it.

00:30:02

So he was like reciting.

00:30:04

I don’t remember the exact passage, but the story of the like the lost coin and the lost sheep and the prodigal son.

00:30:12

And so he, like he recited the whole thing, and it was really powerful.

00:30:16

And then at at the end we were like discussing things, and he pointed out something that I had.

00:30:21

Just never thought of.

00:30:22

Before where the prodigal son when he like has lost everything and he comes to his son.

00:30:28

This is he’s like why am I living like this?

00:30:31

My father servants are taken like they they are better off than I am like I should go back to my father and present this plan with him to essentially like get back into his good graces and so he comes back to his father and he’s like he’s ashamed of all the ways that he’s.

00:30:48

Messed up and his father runs over to him and the prodigal son says, Father, I’ve sinned against you and against God and he doesn’t even get to his plan like his.

00:30:58

The next thing he’s going to say.

00:31:00

He like rehearsed it earlier where he’s like, you know, let me be one of your hired hands.

00:31:04

Like I I will work for you.

00:31:06

Treat me like a servant.

00:31:07

I want to be back in your house.

00:31:08

He doesn’t even get to his plan because his father interrupts him with like just this like gracious like receiving of his son and he’s like put the best robe on him and the best ring on his.

00:31:20

Finger and we’re going to celebrate like my son was lost and now he’s found and that just like when he pointed this out, I was like yeah, how many times?

00:31:28

Do we come to God ashamed and we’re like?

00:31:31

What can I do to like, earn my way back into being his daughter?

00:31:35

And it’s like that’s.

00:31:36

Or really to make us feel better sometimes about what we have done, yeah.

00:31:40

100%. It’s like, but you know, like we all have kids, your your kids don’t have to do anything to be your child like they just.

00:31:49

Your child, like they don’t have to earn their way into being like now.

00:31:52

Now Dax is more a son of holy than he was yesterday.

00:31:56

It’s like what?

00:31:56

No, that’s not how that works.

00:31:57

And yeah, I don’t know.

00:31:58

Right?

00:31:59

I think when we when we have.

00:32:02

Scripture, and we’re reminding ourselves of, like our identity, then it becomes so much less like A to do list to check off like what should I be doing to be a.

00:32:10

Good child of.

00:32:11

God totally.

00:32:12

And reading that scripture in community gives you people that you remind each other of that identity too, which I think is so beautiful through DNA group, yeah?

00:32:20

I would love to hear from you too.

00:32:22

Being in the same group.

00:32:24

What was it like for you guys?

00:32:27

To so the design of the book in.

00:32:30

The early chat.

00:32:31

There’s kind of throws you into the deep end pretty quickly.

00:32:34

Yeah, like OK.

00:32:36

Figure out how to be vulnerable ready.

00:32:38

You know and and.

00:32:39

It gives you guys you know things, but what was that?

00:32:43

What was that process like for you guys with?

00:32:47

Maybe you’ve had experience, you know I’ve had close close friendships before, I’m sure and things, but with people that maybe you hadn’t got guns there with before.

00:32:56

What was it like to kind of just?

00:32:58

Do it to be.

00:33:00

Vulnerable share.

00:33:02

You know yourselves in ways that you hadn’t with those people.

00:33:05

Yeah, I mean I would say I don’t know about you Sonny, but we’re still learning it.

00:33:08

To be honest, I think there were ways in which at the beginning it was like OK, we had been in Community group, the three and.

00:33:15

Yeah, yeah, I didn’t mention that before.

00:33:15

Now four of us.

00:33:18

Now we’re a group before we started.

00:33:19

At 30, yeah.

00:33:21

And some of us had known each other for longer or shorter amounts of time, and so it was like, OK, we can be more vulnerable because there’s smaller group.

00:33:28

And so some.

00:33:29

Of that came at the beginning, yeah, but I think just with time and experience and I learn to trust with one another and a validation of our identity with one another.

00:33:39

It’s definitely been a muscle we’ve had to exercise.

00:33:41

More yeah, and I think I don’t know about you sending, but even the last few like DNA groups that we’ve met together.

00:33:47

I have just walked away feeling like, oh I know more about other people and I feel like they know me more and we are building more of an identity together and we’ve it’s been.

00:33:56

But well, I guess we had Abigail. I had Abigail pretty thick, so it’s been what? Nine months since we’ve started the group 910 months.

00:34:03

Yeah, yeah, I think it’s something we’re still growing and like I know for myself, I think it’s something I’m still growing into.

00:34:10

It’s like, yeah, just going the like going a little bit deeper, sharing a little bit more.

00:34:17

Like sometimes being willing to share like.

00:34:22

I feel like there’s.

00:34:22

There’s like sins you can share that it’s like, yeah, I’m like struggling with this and it still stays a little surface.

00:34:28

Excitable sense, and then there’s like the deeper like uglier parts of your heart that you’re like I really would rather nobody know that I like think that or like have like strokes I.

00:34:39

And it’s.

00:34:40

Always that.

00:34:40

Didn’t say it, nobody would nobody and I.

00:34:42

We would know, yeah.

00:34:42

Don’t have to right now.

00:34:44

You know in.

00:34:44

Theory, yeah, but there is.

00:34:46

There’s like a it’s scary.

00:34:48

Yes, yeah.

00:34:48

And I think.

00:34:48

The enemy doesn’t want us to, right sure.

00:34:51

’cause as soon as there’s.

00:34:52

Like light on that, it doesn’t feel.

00:34:55

It doesn’t feel as scary like because now people can like speak truth into it and you’re like still loved despite sharing that.

00:35:01

And so yeah, I think the I would say the last couple of months.

00:35:06

It feels like we have been able to be more vulnerable with each other, but I’m hoping that we’ll continue to grow in that.

00:35:14

Yeah, we’ve been meeting.

00:35:15

For like 10 months, but each of us have had a baby in the.

00:35:18

Last 10 months.

00:35:18

That’s all.

00:35:18

Or if I.

00:35:19

So all four of you here, four of us.

00:35:20

Oh my God.

00:35:21

Yeah, so that.

00:35:22

Being said, I think we’re going to.

00:35:23

You know, take the group in a direction of like some.

00:35:26

How does the gospel apply to motherhood, since that’s like all real in in our lives?

00:35:31

But yeah, so it’s.

00:35:32

It’s been a little hard for us to always consistently meet when so many children have been born into the group totally.

00:35:38

Which you bring up a good point.

00:35:40

I mean, I think we talked about before that often DNA groups are launched out of community groups and so that can be a.

00:35:47

Always I was always correct, yeah?

00:35:49

So that can be a form of commonality.

00:35:51

Now it just so happens that the four of us all have had these in the past year.

00:35:55

That wasn’t really like planned.

00:35:55

Or so.

00:35:57

No, although actually I will say Rachel.

00:36:00

And Lindsay, my DNA group.

00:36:01

I think you guys knew I was pregnant before just about anybody else maybe?

00:36:04

Before I knew I was pregnant.

00:36:06

I remember one night of you walking.

00:36:08

In my house and telling.

00:36:09

Cleansing either ways in which you did not feel well.

00:36:11

We both go like.

00:36:11

Yes, I’ve been.

00:36:12

I’ve been asking you guys to I’ve been asking you guys to pray for me that way ’cause I didn’t feel well and I was like 3 weeks pregnant or something and you both were like.

00:36:21

I wonder could it?

00:36:24

Be Rachel actually gave me the pregnancy test that I went on.

00:36:27

With this might be.

00:36:27

I’m sending you home with that.

00:36:28

TMI from the podcast.

00:36:31

Anyway, I think I I really derailed you there.

00:36:34

Oh, it’s.

00:36:34

OK, uhm, but commonalities right.

00:36:35

That’s amazing.

00:36:38

And so I think.

00:36:39

Obviously people in the any groups.

00:36:41

We hope that baseline we are all finding our identity as children of Christ, right?

00:36:47

But also it is has an amazing way to bring out other common identities within us so.

00:36:54

I hope people listening to this don’t think they need to find a DNA group full of people that are in the same quote, UN quote life stage as them because it does not have to be that way at.

00:37:00

Yeah, I know.

00:37:03

All yeah, I actually I just had a.

00:37:07

Zoom call I wasn’t zoom, but it’s an online call with three guys last week who were interested in in starting a DNA group, but they really wanted more like.

00:37:17

I’m like can you just like walk us through it, explain it what is this and and and one the only like slight hesitancy from one person was because of life stages.

00:37:28

They’re like no nothing against you 2.

00:37:30

The other two people, but like we’re in different places and I’m just would that be a problem?

00:37:37

Will that keep me from being open or will that keep you from knowing how?

00:37:41

To care for me or, you know, vice versa.

00:37:45

And it’s a totally valid point and and so there’s actually.

00:37:50

There’s kind of two ways to think about it, and.

00:37:51

I I suggested both of these to them.

00:37:54

That on one hand you know for the person who’s kind of the odd man out of the circumstances like you don’t necessarily know these guys a story, so you may find out that you have way more.

00:38:05

In common than it appears on the surface, they may actually have more experiential knowledge than you would guess.

00:38:10

You don’t think they might?

00:38:11

More in.

00:38:12

Common than you would than you would think.

00:38:14

On the flip side, that’s a good point.

00:38:17

Maybe consider a fourth person, and so they actually did, they’ve landed.

00:38:21

I think they’ve invited a fourth, a fourth guy, so that there will be more more diversity of experience and of life circumstances.

00:38:28

Sure, yeah.

00:38:30

And and I’m keeping that all very general.

00:38:32

Just because I didn’t ask.

00:38:33

If I could share that, but also.

00:38:34

Because it doesn’t matter.

00:38:35

Yeah yeah, but it could be any sort of perception of like oh, I don’t know if I would connect with them because they are X and I’m Y.

00:38:44

You know that and that’s that is something to consider.

00:38:47

That’s OK to you.

00:38:48

Don’t have to like start a DNA group with people that.

00:38:51

You don’t get along with, right?

00:38:52

And you know, but we never know how much commonality we have group.

00:38:57

When we started we were six people.

00:39:00

So we’re like.

00:39:01

Way too big.

00:39:02

I’m breaking all of my own.

00:39:04

I think it took us two nights just to get.

00:39:06

Through all of.

00:39:06

Our own testimonies, like through our stories.

00:39:09

And I started and it definitely was one of those moments of like.

00:39:14

OK, I’m going.

00:39:14

To choose to, like, quote, UN quote, go there with my story as a model.

00:39:20

As an example, as the leader, I’m going to be the the first one in with vulnerability and I’ll be the last one.

00:39:25

Out, you know, hopefully.

00:39:28

But so I kind of laid it out.

00:39:29

I was like hi.

00:39:29

My name is Nicole Nice.

00:39:30

To meet you all, here’s.

00:39:31

My story.

00:39:32

And they were like wait, your name is Nicole what?

00:39:33

Yeah, that’s true.

00:39:36

I didn’t even think about it when he said.

00:39:37

It, I think it probably took me like 2 plus years to realize that was like actually your name.

00:39:42

There’s probably people listening now that are just learning it, but.

00:39:46

That’s funny.

00:39:47

But but then?

00:39:49

After I went, the next person goes and they say it’s really interesting that you mentioned XY and Z because I wasn’t going to.

00:39:56

But let me fill in some gaps on my notes.

00:39:58

Here that I had prepared.

00:40:00

You know, and then the third person goes.

00:40:02

OK, well funny you two should say that because and all three of us are in completely different life stages.

00:40:05

Yeah, crazy.

00:40:08

I mean not completely.

00:40:09

I mean, we’re all women in our 20s and 30s, but.

00:40:13

Way way way.

00:40:15

More in common than we ever would have guessed, and then the freedom that came for for some of these women to be able to bring things into the light like for.

00:40:21

The first

00:40:22

Time ever and then for.

00:40:25

For us to not be shocked by it, ’cause I think the enemy really likes to get us to believe that our sin is unique, that it’s worse than anybody else is and.

00:40:37

That people are going to react by, like not wanting to be close to you.

00:40:41

Anyway, yeah and like see you differently.

00:40:42

Yeah, but in the in truth like the in the gospel like.

00:40:49

Impatience is just as sinful as whatever the worst thing is that you could possibly imagine, and so that there might be different ramifications.

00:40:58

But in Christ, we’re all fallen, and in light of Christ we’re all broken, but we can all be redeemed, and so I think it’s a it’s a level playing field in that way.

00:41:08

Can I circle back to something we talked about earlier ’cause I feel like this is going to feel like it.

00:41:13

It doesn’t connect, but back to the four questions just really quickly.

00:41:17

So from working with kids I was teaching 9 to 12 year old.

00:41:22

And before I ever even read this.

00:41:24

Book I don’t know.

00:41:24

Who necessarily came up with this?

00:41:27

It may have been Annie, who some of you may know now fear antiok yeah.

00:41:31

Shadow Andy Andy Johnson.

00:41:34

He’s the.

00:41:35

Best, but we would do like a weekly verse discussion with the kids in our classroom.

00:41:41

And so there would be like a verse for the week and we would just like everyone would read the verse.

00:41:45

The kids could read the verse if they wanted, and then we would just ask them open-ended questions like no.

00:41:50

Like there’s no right or wrong answer, we would ask them open-ended questions and the three questions we would ask them are what does this tell us about God?

00:41:57

What does this tell us about ourselves and then like how do we live as a result of that?

00:42:02

And I could do not like the things that 9 to 12 year olds can come up with and see and discover from Scripture with those.

00:42:10

Open-ended questions like I would walk away from the discussions being like wow, like my heart is so touched or like I have seen something new about God that I wouldn’t.

00:42:20

Have have seen on my own so when I two things when I picked up the book and read about the four questions, I was like this is exactly what we’re doing already and it’s so great.

00:42:30

And then two, just like if you’re a parent out there who is thinking about discipling your children?

00:42:36

I feel like like with almost any age, you could use some.

00:42:40

Version of these questions, but yeah, it worked especially well for 9 to 12 year olds.

00:42:45

They could get so much out of just one verse with these three questions, so I just wanted to point that out for any parents.

00:42:51

Who might be less loaded?

00:42:52

Will edit.

00:42:53

It reminds me of that quote by Saint Augustine, where when he’s talking about the scriptures, he says that the scriptures are shallow enough for kids to play in and deep enough for elephants to swim in or dive in, and it really is.

00:43:08

That is a beautiful illustration of it that even us as adults when we ask ourselves.

00:43:13

Those four questions when you’re reading scriptures?

00:43:15

Yes, we’ll we’ll see new things.

00:43:17

But also allowing children to ask those same questions and getting those muscles.

00:43:22

Practice for them.

00:43:23

It’s a beautiful thing to see that no matter what your age, what your quote UN quote, spiritual maturity level, there’s always things to be gained from reading Scripture in that light.

00:43:32

Yeah, and not having to like, not that this is is getting into like discipling kids which also I have been apparent for all of 6 1/2 weeks.

00:43:42

Share your wisdom says.

00:43:44

I I love that from my my years of teaching, I love that like you don’t have to water down scripture for kids like you don’t have to be like.

00:43:53

OK, let me sit down and explain this to you so that you can understand it as as a kid, but like sometimes just letting them have access to the word of God.

00:44:02

The things that they can discover and that he can speak to them like the Holy Spirit is is speaking to them.

00:44:07

It’s it’s really cool.

00:44:08

To see, yeah, that’s awesome.

00:44:10

Well, we could.

00:44:11

I know that three of us could just talk for another all day, but I if if you’re still listening, awesome.

00:44:13

Oh all day yeah.

00:44:19

But I want to leave you wanting more, so we currently have about 8 or 9 DNA groups here at antioche, with a total of probably 3035 people in them.

00:44:30

And my personal goal.

00:44:31

This next year I’ll just throw it out there is to double that.

00:44:34

Yeah, yeah.

00:44:34

And and with what 150 or so people at antioche that calling back home? I think that’s totally doable. And what’s great is that it’s it. It is a commitment. It is a choice you have to.

00:44:42

Well, huh?

00:44:50

Make plans around it.

00:44:51

Yeah, you know.

00:44:52

And it, and it’s a time commitment to with.

00:44:54

If you’re already involved in Community group and then you’re choosing to be involved in DNA group worth it, but it is.

00:44:59

A commitment right?

00:45:00

And yeah, and it is a commitment, but it’s worth it.

00:45:02

Yeah, like just to say the exact same thing in the.

00:45:04

Yes, absolutely.

00:45:04

Other direction have says that there are people that commit to things like CrossFit, which seems crazy to me.

00:45:10

They find value in it, right?

00:45:12

And I’m somebody reminded me recently like.

00:45:15

Time commitments, it just depends on what you value.

00:45:19

Because if somebody walked up to you and said like hey, do you want to go to this free CrossFit section later today?

00:45:25

I’d say no, but if they came up to me and they said hey, would you like to go on a free trip to Jamaica next week, I would say heck yes.

00:45:34

I will find that time because I’ve been tasting Holly.

00:45:36

Right, I might value.

00:45:38

Relaxing on the beach more than I would sweating in a CrossFit class.

00:45:43

So I agree value is if we see.

00:45:44

That’s a good point.

00:45:48

Value in growing with other believers in the truth and knowledge of the scriptures.

00:45:53

I think it’s so worth it to add that.

00:45:55

Time commitment and sometimes I mean I think we all know this from like spiritual growth and and the the struggle sometimes.

00:46:04

The commitment comes before you see the value in something.

00:46:08

Like or maybe you you?

00:46:11

See the value in it like there’s like a head knowledge there, but you’re like, but I don’t really want to commit or I don’t like like my heart doesn’t want that and and I think that can be true of a lot of spiritual disciplines.

00:46:24

But yeah, sometimes the commitment coming first, then later on, you’re like, yeah, this has been really, really good.

00:46:30

There’s a lot of value.

00:46:31

In this yeah.

00:46:33

Awesome, well if anybody listening wants to learn more about DNA groups or wants to talk to me about how you would get one started, I would love to do that.

00:46:43

You can reach out to to me or talk to me.

00:46:45

You know next time I see you.

00:46:46

Person, but I think we’ll leave it there.

00:46:49

And yeah, we should talk about doing a Part 2 on future route and figure.

00:46:53

Out that’d be.

00:46:53

Fun, pretty sure.

00:46:54

Figure out when to record that, but until then, have a great week everybody and we will see you next time.